Live from my living room, its the televised Oscar Awards on ABC! You know, I'm kinda ashamed of myself this year ... I haven't watched most of the movies up for the 4 major categories. A stark contrast to last year.
8:05 .. .Heeeeeeeere's Johnny!! (Oh come on! How could I pass that up?) That was actually a pretty funny opening riff on the Academy's hunt for a host. Doesn't match up to Billy Crystal's montage a couple of years ago, but its one of the better ones I've seen (does anyone remember Chris Rock's?). Gotta love that self-deprecatory Jewish humor. And yes, I know it's JON Stewart.
8:06 ... Yes, Jon makes the obligatory "Death To Smoochy" reference!
8:08 ... It's odd, on The Daily Show, Jon always seems awkward when standing and presenting a piece. Doesn't seem to have too much of a problem here. But you gotta hand it to him, he's been funny so far.
8:12 ... Ooh, Jon Stewart just said Walk The Line is Ray with white people. Did you catch Joaquin Phoenix's look? Pure daggers.
8:14 ... Obligatory, but still funny montage of cowboy flicks that have gay innuendo.
8:16 ... Best Supporting Actor this quickly? It's one of the 4 big ones ... I haven't seen ANY of the movies here. :( .. But I'm all for Clooney! And the Oscar goes to ... Yaay! Nicole Kidman looks sweet too. Since when did they start the "get of the stage" music from the moment the winner walks on? That's disgusting! ... Wow, Geogre Clooney's really turned serious these days, huh?
8:20 ... Funny clip about overlong speeches, but you know what would have been funnier? Halle Berry doing that. After all, who can forget that marathon snoozefest of an acceptance speech a few years ago? My god, that woman would NOT shut up, and forced the Academy into that stupid "Get off the stage" music.
8:26 ... Damn Ben Stiller can be silly ... Best Visual Effects ... Hmm, OK I've seen all movies. I vote for King Kong! And the award goes to ...Yes! Woohoo! Thanks include Andy Serkis. Damn straight. The man's rewriting the rulebook of film-making.
8:31 ... Best Animated Feature ... They're all so GOOD! But my heart belongs to Wallace & Grommitt. But Howl's Moving Castle is a close second! ... Tim Burton's wife doesn't look happy ...And the award goes to ... YES!! Wow, I called 3 of them so far ... I should've bet in the office pool ... Wow, those are pretty gay bowties, eh?
8:43 ... Hmm, the Wilson Brothers are presenting Live Action Short. I believe they're available now on iTunes Music Store. I'll probably buy the winner. Which reminds me, where does one watch the animated shorts? ... OK, the winner's Six Shooter.
8:45 ... Oh dear God, what a poor choice of presenters for Animated Short ... OK, thats a funny bit about animated ducks and pants. I take that back ... thats a REALLY funny bit about Disney's not putting pants on Donald Duck. And funny presenters! Hooray for Zach Braff as the voice of Chicken Little! The award goes to... The Moon and The Sun. I should get that somehow.
8:50 ... I love Jennifer Aniston. She's ... radiant. Maybe that's because Brad Pitt left ;) ... Best Costume award will probably go to Pride & Prejudice .. and it goes to ... Memoirs of a Geisha. Er ... that was my second choice! It was!
8:58 ... Will Ferrell & Steve Carrell present makeup nominees. Odd choice ... you'd think it'd be someone who was glamorous, or ethereal in appearance, like Nicole Kidman. But these guys crack me up with their intro :D ... I miss Will Ferrell in SNL ... Interesting only 2 nominees are Sci Fi (as opposed to all of them) ... Huh, Narnia won ... Well, OK, considering that the other contender was Revenge of the Sith ... and I think people have grown leery of space battles. People seem to prefer sword-and-sorcery these days ... Hey, how come the "Get off the stage" music didn't come on till the end? Prejudice!
9:04 ... Nicole Kidman doesn't look too amused by the Russell Crowe jab (Roughly, it was Jon saying "I'm surprised Cinderella Man didn't win. I mean, it's tough to make Russell Crowe look like he'd been in a fight")
9:05 ... Why is it that scientific awards are held in a seperate event, of which like one or two of the clips are shown at the Awards? More evidence of the de-scientification of America, I tell ya!
9:06 ... Morgan Freeman stumbled in his intro to Best Supporting Actress! Amazing! ... Huh, I never realized - leading lady from The 40 Year Old Virgin is a nominee ... Rachel Weisz looks a bit old :( ... But she wins the Oscar :)
9:16 ... Woohoo! Daily Show style piece on Best Actress nominees!
9:22 ... March of the Penguins takes the award for Best Documentary, as expected. I've got to watch it, but I admit the whole Chritian angle on the whole thing's really dampened my enthusiasm.
9:24 ... Dear Gods, why J-Lo? Why God, why?! ... Oh, OK it's for another of the nominated songs.
9:32 Sandra "Ms. Congeniality" Bullock & Keanu "Whoa!" Reeves walk out together. She looks like she's got some allergies ... He looks as wooden as ever ... Is this the first time they've "performed" together since Speed? I think it is. Hmm, Oscar for art direction. I would go for King Kong, but Pride & Prejudice looks good too. And the Oscar goes to ... huh. Memoirs of a Geisha. Go figure.
9:36 ... Damn, Samuel L Jackson doesn't walk. He ... swaggers!
10:04 ... OK back from my phone call with Mon & Dad ... thank Gods for my DVR :) ... I pick up at 9:44 :)
9:44 ... DAMN! SALMA HAYEK IS HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! Dear Gods, she's ... popping out of that gown!
9:49 ... Brokeback Mountain takes it's first award, albeit for musical score :)
9:56 ... Jake Gylllllenenenhall (seriously, that name is like "banana" ... you have to learn WHEN to stop!) walks out ... you know, it's surprising that he didn't get recognized for his role in Jarhead ... Hang on, did they just shop a clip from "Back to the Future" in the "Epic Movies" category?! They did!
10:00 ... Is it my imagination, or is Jessica Alba really that skinny? .. Hmm ... best sound mixing ... ooh, Walk The Line is a good nominee here ... as is King King. I'm going with Walk The Line. And the award goes to ... King Kong. Huh .. well, I still called it! :)
10:05 ... So who's this fruitcake up with Meryl Streep? And why are they babbling on? Shut it and get on with the honorary Oscar to a great director (Robert Altman)! Beautiful analogy he just made - filmmaking is like building sand castles!
10:16 ... Nice AmEx ad featuring M Night Shyamalan :)
10:19 ... Dear Gods, ABC is actually censoring "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" with silences ... Huh, iTMS doesn't have the song. How odd.
10:23 ... Academy awards Best Song to a rap song for the first time. That's history, dawg. Damn we got rappers with the bling on stage next to white folk in evening gowns & tuxedos. This moment is pure history. Relish it! :)
10:26 ... Oh yes, yet another Daily Show-esque clip about Best Sound Editing.
10:27 ... Dear God, what is Jennifer Garner wearing. Alright, you Hollywood women, get this - a flowing robe makes you look a) pregnant, or b) fat. Deal with it .. Of course if she really is pregnant ... er ... you look lovely, Jennifer Garner.
10:28 King Kong takes the best sound editing award. Why isn't Peter Jackson at the awards? Does he feel snubbed cos he didn't get a Best Director or Best Picture nominations this time?
10:35 ... Oh yeah, the Tribeca Film Festival's coming up at the end of April. Must check it out.
10:37 ... Will Smith presenting best foreign film. Seems like he's becoming a international goodwill ambassador, eh? He worked quite a bit on Live 8 as I recall. Tsotsi wins the award. Been hearing a lot about this movie. I really should check it out.
10:41 Ziyi Zhang's hot. She's presenting Best Editor. Wow, I've watched only 2 movies in this cateogry. Shameful. The award goes to the dude who edited Crash.
10:44 ... Hillary Swank's on to present Best Actor (wow, only 15 minutes to go!) ... Huh, Heath Ledger's got a Johnny Depp goatee look! ... I havent seen most of the movies here but I'm rooting for Joaquin Phoenix, although David Strathairn was good too. Cool, Philip Seymour Hoffman won it. I really should watch Capote ...
10:54 ... John Travolta is a 2-time nominee? Really? I gotta look this up! ...He's presenting Cinematography ... Memoirs of a Geisha takes it. This movie's won most of the technical categories,tonight right? ... OK, Travolta was nominated for Pulp Fiction (really? Not BMF?) and Saturday Night Fever.
10:57 ... Jamie Foxx walks on to present Best Actress. Is it odd that 2 of the 5 nominees are British ... I mean, for an essentially American awards show? Even though i haven't seen the movie, I'm supporting Kiera Knightly on the sole basis that she's the hottest (hey, it's as good a reason as any!) ... Oh but there's Reese Witherspoon as well ... OK that movie I saw ... Alright, Reese Witherspoon is my choice! :) ... Hey it's my blog! ... And the award goes to ... Reese Witherspoon! Hah! OK she's going on a little bit long ...
11:07 ... Alright I've had to start recording "Eyewitness News"! It looks like we'll be here for a while!
11:08 ... Dustin Hoffman presents the award for Best Adapted Screenplay ... History of Violence is a graphic novel? Damn, I've got to read it! ... Alright, Brokeback takes its second award. Speaking of graphic novels, yet another Alan Moore graphic novel is being made into a movie - V for Vendetta. I do not look forward to it. I mean, there's been just ONE good Alan Moore adaptation, From Hell. League of Extraordinary Gentleman was an unmitigated disaster.
11:12 Uma "Kill Bill" Thurman walks on to present the award for Best Original Screenplay. Crash takes this award.
11:18 ... Tom Hanks comes out to present Best Director. Man all these movies are pretty good, it's going to be close, but ... yeah, Ang Lee won for Brokeback Mountain.
11:21 ... Jack Nicholson walks out. Damn, he's a 12-time nominee? Wow, I ... I ... I can't handle the truth! What's with those sunglasses he always wears, BTW? He's presenting Best Picture ... another close race ... And Crash takes it, winning 3 of its 6 nominations. Who was that excitable woman in the orange gown who kept jumping up and down before realizing her gown was strapless (I kid you not, there's a fleeting shot of her having to pull it up!)
10:28 ... Wow, it's over ... it's what, 30 minutes too long? :)
Wow I'm bushed! I'll write up a little more about my thoughts tomorrow. I'm keeping the 3.5 hour recording on my DVR so that I can watch it and enjoy it ... I've been swivelling around from my TV to my PC these last few hours!
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